You Deserve to Talk Nicer to Yourself

Dear Ladies,

This week on IG I have been sharing summer Campfire Stories, little glimpse into my life, the real and raw. I was inspired and challenged by one of my Life Coaches to share about me, the real, the vulnerable, and the hard, so this week I am going to share them with you here.

Now this woman right here (📸 me 2018)

She was on fire for the gym She loved working out She made it a priority She put in the time

​ ​ The healthiest and thinnest I had been in my 20s-30s BUT man was I so mean and critical of myself, it was never good enough. ​ I always told myself the reason I was single was because I was too fat, too ugly, and oh yeah my personality was too much (haha I mean what could someone like about me) ​

So loosing the weight, getting thinner, didn’t change my inner monologue ​ So to this version of me I’d whisper: you’re doing it for the wrong reason, they (who ever they are) won’t love you more or less based on your looks- they love you based on their own thoughts- that create their love of you. ​ I’d whisper you are working so hard physically why not give yourself the love you are seeking, it’s available to you right now. ​ I’d tell her that she’s allowed to be thin, if she wants to be, she’s allowed to work out all the time and make it a priority, if she wants to.

​ But not doing that doesn’t make her any less of anything. ​ What good is your “ideal” body if you’re still shit talking yourself? ​ It didn’t FEEL any different on the inside. ​ Don’t get me wrong crushing my goals felt amazing BUT I still saw the “fat girl” in the mirror ​ I still talked to myself with disgust instead of love and amazement ​

I did not value or appreciate this body, because I never really felt like beautiful was something I “deserved”- I realized that I have a very hard time giving myself what I deserved: love, credit, appreciation and value ​ Loving our physical bodies is an inside mental and emotional job. We have to undo what we’ve been socialized to believe “beautiful/hot/sexy” is when our body doesn’t match that definition of “beautiful/hot/sexy”. ​ I’d walk by the mirror more often and compliment myself, I’d tell my brain we don’t have to listen to that narrative anymore. ​ We decide what’s beautiful/hot/sexy! We also are inherently worthy regardless of our brains ranking of our physical appearance! AND another peoples comments and opinions about our bodies is NONE OF OUR BUSINESS!

Xo,

Amber