📸 throwback 2019
This Amber was the bravest Amber we had yet to see, she came out as a Lesbian at 33, YUP, trying so hard to put herself in a box with the right label.
She told the world that she loved women, she told her family that she was going to start dating women, her family said they love and accepted her…
Four months later she tells them She is actually bisexual, see even in her “coming out” she was trying to “be accepted”. She had heard about women who were bisexual who came out later in life were not as welcomed in the dating community and that women who identified as bisexual were not “trusted” or taken “seriously”
Well I didn’t want that! So lesbian I was- then someone came back into my life someone I had loved who was a man, and if I was honest with myself I had been in real love with a few men I had dated, but it felt different than the woman I had fallen in love with in 2019, and I was trying to feel acceptance. So I “ RE” came out as a bisexual!
This woman was so very brave, to not come out once but twice!
Then she got pregnant! Talk about people having a lot to say!
“See you’re just confused”
“You haven’t met the right man”
“He’s out there”
And he may be BUT She may be, and I’m not confused- I looked confused- which we do when we are not authentically showing up out of fear, rejection and judgement.
So in 2019, I decided to no longer stay small and no longer make decisions on “fitting in”, or make decisions on what would be “accepted”
It’s still scary, I still have fear that when I do meet her, my family/friends won’t be as accepting as they say, because some still make comments forgetting that I am queer- even though they have never witnessed me dating a woman- I’m still queer.
So I am scared to put myself out there and meet a woman, and fall in love with her because then I will obviously want her to be apart of the beautiful life I have now with my family who I am super close to: but if they tell me (forgetting that I’m bisexual) “gay and homosexuality is becoming too normalized” - of course I am going to be hurt, feel fear, and wonder what they would think about me dating a woman, as we are apart of each other’s daily life.
Thankfully like coaching has given me the tools I need to feel my fear, feel my fear of rejection and judgment of not being what other “expect” AND not make it mean anything about me.
I can feel that fear AND choose love
I can feel fear AND still move in the direction of finding my true love
I can feel fear AND give others the space to have their opinions
I can feel fear AND still show up for myself.