Not Every Thought You Think is True

AND Every Thought Creates a REAL Feeling

I work with my clients on exactly this. This is a powerful tool once you understand it. When you learn to question your thoughts, when you learn that your THOUGHTS create your feelings.

You stop validating your thoughts as TRUE because you ‘feel’ this way. Your feelings are NOT validating your thoughts. Your feelings are now your real feelings because of the thoughts you are thinking.

You can think a thought that is not true and still create REAL feelings.

The thought “They wouldn’t do that if they love me” is a great example. This is not “always” true, but it creates real anxiety, real fear of abandonment, sadness, or disappointment. So now you have a real feeling that you need to process.

We think we have this feeling so it must be true… when we have this feeling just because we thought an untrue thought. We do not have to take action to “feel” better, we do not need to reach out to our partner for validation if we just work on asking ourselves… “is this thought… really true?” “What am I making this mean?” “Does my brain have a story about this?” “What if it wasn’t true?”

We question our thoughts… we look for ways to poke holes in our story… AND simultaneously learning how to feel the uncomfortable feeling this created. Of course I feel rejected, my brain just told me “if they loved me they would not do what they did.”

Of course I feel (insert) feeling here, I just had the thought “if they loved me they wouldn’t do xyz”…

Even though the thought is not true, our feelings now are. So we have to process them. We have to say I see you, I hear you and I am here for you. We can comfort ourselves and not look for outside reassurance. We slowly teach ourselves that we are stable, secure and able to trust ourselves.